From the Brink to Breakthrough: A Raw Story of Addiction, Recovery & Healing
- Daniel Wathen
- Apr 5
- 4 min read
New episode on Spotify
About the Episode
In this deeply honest episode of Learn Chat Share, Daniel reconnects with longtime friend Jim Durbin, now a Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor, to unpack his decade-long battle with addiction—and the hard-won path to recovery. Together, they explore the messy, layered reality behind addiction: early trauma, shame, ego, family dynamics, relapse, and what it really takes to help someone turn things around. Whether you’re someone struggling or someone who loves someone who is, this conversation is raw, real, and full of compassion.
Reconnecting with Jim
Every so often, a conversation comes along that hits deeper than expected - especially when it’s a tough conversation and it’s with and about someone you know. That was the case when I reconnected with my longtime friend, Jim Durbin. We had known each other for over 25 years, first meeting in a completely different world, a different life. When we reconnected, I learned that Jim had been through a decade-long battle with addiction, homelessness, and shame - none of which I knew since our careers had taken us into different directions. What followed was one of the most honest, eye-opening conversations I’ve ever had on the Learn Chat Share podcast about a very sobering topic - addiction recovery.
This blog post dives into what Jim shared—about addiction, love, family, trauma, and ultimately, hope.
The Hidden Roots of Addiction
Jim’s story didn’t start with a pill bottle. It started with pain—emotional, spiritual, and mental pain that had been building for years. He described feeling empty long before the car accident that led to his first prescription painkiller. From the outside, his life looked picture-perfect: family, kids, a thriving career. But inside, he felt like a fraud.
“From the outside, everything looked perfect. But inside, I felt like a fraud.” — Jim Durbin
That disconnect between appearance and reality is where addiction often begins. The substance isn't the origin; it's the bandage for wounds that often go unseen.
Shame, Ego, and the Power of Denial
As Jim explained, shame was one of the most powerful forces keeping him in the cycle of addiction. Coupled with a strong ego and a deeply ingrained sense of "I should be able to handle this," he found himself isolated, defensive, and—eventually—homeless.
Family and friends tried to intervene. They sat him down. They pleaded. But addiction is clever. It whispers lies that feel like truth.
“In the moment, I believed the lie I was telling.” — Jim Durbin
The Systemic Nature of Addiction
Addiction isn’t an isolated issue. Jim emphasized that it’s a family disease—a systemic issue. Every person in the addict's life plays a role, knowingly or not. This means intervention isn’t just about confronting the individual; it’s about changing the entire support system.
Friends, spouses, parents—we’re all department heads in this system. And without alignment, without boundaries, the addict will gravitate to the weakest link. That’s not manipulation, per se. It’s survival.
The Breaking Point: When Love Becomes a Boundary
Jim finally hit a moment of surrender, but not before putting his wife and family through unimaginable pain. The moment that changed everything wasn’t a grand event or public intervention. It was his wife finally drawing a line in the sand and sticking to it.
“She was done. She had nothing left to give. And I knew she meant it.” — Jim Durbin
That moment of truth, that unmovable boundary, was what propelled Jim to begin his recovery.
Why Asking for Help Is So Damn Hard
This episode touched a nerve when we talked about the difficulty of asking for help. For men, especially, society has long pushed the narrative that we should handle everything ourselves. That asking for help is weakness. But that mindset can be deadly.
“Feelings buried alive never die. They just get louder.” — Jim Durbin
The Road to Healing Is Messy (But Worth It)
Recovery is not linear. Jim relapsed more times than he could count. But each time, he got closer to the core of his pain. Through therapy, spiritual growth, and connection to community, he began to understand that addiction was just the symptom. The root was deeper.
And today, Jim is a therapist and intervention specialist who helps others navigate that same dark road he once walked.
What You Can Do (Even If You’re Not the Addict)
This conversation wasn’t just for people in recovery. It was for everyone who loves someone who’s struggling. If you're in that position:
Set loving, clear boundaries
Know your own limits
Seek support for yourself through groups like Al-Anon or CoDA
Remember: If it’s not love, it’s not real
Resources for Support
For Individuals Struggling with Addiction
SAMHSA National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
For Family & Friends
Referenced Books & Concepts
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman
Internal Family Systems (IFS) by Dr. Richard Schwartz
Final Thoughts
Addiction is messy. Recovery is imperfect. But healing is possible. Jim’s story is proof that even the most broken chapters of our lives can lead to something powerful, meaningful, and redemptive.
If you or someone you love is struggling, take that first step. There is a whole world of people and programs ready to walk with you.
Want to listen to the full episode? Find it on Spotify or your favorite podcast platform under Learn Chat Share
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